When You Feel Like a Burden
Written by Hayley Mroz
When you feel like a burden, what do you do? To where do you turn?
I can’t tell you how many folks I have counseled who have struggled against this very belief- that they are a burden, “too much”, or annoying. I have believed it myself at times. The belief can take on various flavors but at its core the message is the same- “I cause more problems than I can help with them. People should avoid me and I them so I don’t mess anything up. I have nothing to offer.” You get the idea.
The belief that you are a burden often originates somewhere in your life story. Maybe you developed this belief as a result of being abused or rejected in a relationship. Because someone avoided, mistreated, or dismissed you, you came to the conclusion that these experiences must reflect the truth about who you are. “I am a burden because other people seem to think I am.”
Maybe, due to your own sense of anxiety, shame, fearing people, or another reason, you have determined to keep yourself at a distance from others. When we choose to keep others at a distance and ourselves at a distance from them, we may begin to conclude over time that what we have wondered about must be true- we must be a burden.
This belief might feel unique to us at times, but it points to the effects of the larger burden from the story of the Bible that we all carry and share - the burden of sin and death. We can all say that we have struggled against this belief or one similar at some point in our lives because we all experience the effects of sin in this world. The Bible does not use the word “burden” to describe people, but rather to describe the things that we carry, the things that weigh on us- whether the wrong we have done, or the wrong that has been done against us (Psalm 55:2, Galatians 6:2, Hebrews 12:1).
Sometimes this belief can be like one of those chicken or the egg scenarios. Which came first, an experience of abuse or relational rejection, or my choice to isolate myself from others because of my anxiety and shame? At times it will be important for us to understand where the belief came from- to put to words the past hurt of rejection and bring that hurt to the Lord.
Whether we do that or not, we can remind ourselves that Jesus invites us to come to him at the very moment we feel that He- and anyone else- does not want us.
When you feel like a burden, who is Jesus to you at that moment? Where is He?
I would like to point you to just three of the many passages that show who Jesus is to these kinds of people- people just like you and me. I would encourage you to take the time to read the encounters in their entirety (they are linked for you below).
1.Jesus and the Woman of Samaria
To a woman with a shameful past (and present), hiding from her community and all alone, Jesus is the one who goes out of His way to have a personal conversation with her- already knowing everything she had ever done.
2. The Healing at the Pool on the Sabbath
To a man who was overlooked and ignored by other people (for 38 years) and had no one to care for him, Jesus is the one who sees him, responds to him, and knows all that he has been through.
To a man who was completely ostracized from his community, lacking any form of connection with another person, Jesus is the one who extends a personal touch and His presence.
In some of these encounters, Jesus is the one to make the first move toward the person. In others, the person reaches out first to Jesus. In all cases, Jesus is there- ready and wanting to see them and show them who they really are.
I pray that as you explore these encounters for yourself, that the Jesus that you need when you feel like a burden- who He already is right now- would meet you in your need. I pray that as a result of knowing who Jesus really is you would be encouraged to reach out to those in your midst who feel they are a burden too.
Hayley Mroz is a counselor at Life Counseling Center. She enjoys counseling people who feel paralyzed by anxiety, stuck in insecurity and comparison, and those struggling with loneliness or a lack of purpose. Read Hayley’s full bio here.
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