By Tonya Cherry
My son and I always watch this one show together. We have dedicated our Sunday nights for the past couple years to putting everything aside and sitting on the couch together. I love that we do this. Recently he texted me while I was at Walmart on a Sunday afternoon to tell me that some of his friends were getting together at a bonfire to watch the season premiere of OUR show and he would stay and watch with me but he would really like to go over there. I sat in my car in that parking lot and did what only crazy mothers do, I cried and I got REALLY hurt. I wanted to watch the show with him. I wanted him to WANT to watch it with me. I wanted all his friends to go away and it to rain on that bonfire! This was supposed to be MY TIME!
Although I did tell him it was “fine” when I got home, it was not fine. This was evidenced by my continued crying and the fact that I crawled into bed fully clothed and starving at 7:45. So I did what I always do when the rest of the family thinks I am too unreasonable to engage; I laid there and told God all about how my son did not give me what I wanted and how heartbroken I was. I knew God would get it. He knows how precious my son is to me. He knows how hard I try to spend time with him. He knows that I want to be more important than bonfires and friends. As I sputtered all of this like a tantruming mommy, it began to dawn on me. God does indeed know. He knows because I am precious to Him. He knows because He wants to spend time with me. He knows because He wants to be more important in my life. God knows exactly how I feel as a parent towards my child. He knows my sorrow and He knows my love. “We know that God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything” 1 John 3:20. Thinking on these words and reflecting on how God has treated me over and over, I was able to replace anger with humility.
I pulled myself out of bed and grabbed my phone. I had to text my son and let him know that I was sorry and that now things really were fine. I gave my son what God gives me over and over. I gave him a parent who loves and understands.