Imagine for a Moment

posted in: Divorce | 0

By Tonya Cherry

Imagine for a moment…

Your two teens suddenly decide they don’t want to be siblings anymore and one of them moves out.

Your heart breaks and it feels like your family has died. You wonder if it’s your fault, even though people

tell you it isn’t. You love them both and want to spend time with each of them, so they literally make up

a schedule of when you will go to each house. On the days that you have to switch houses, you carry an

overnight bag into your office at work. This reminds you all day that your kids don’t live together any

more. You dread special events because your kids always sit far from each other, magnifying the fact

that your family fell apart. You realize that ever since the kids moved a part, you can’t spend money like

you used to and some favorite holiday traditions are lost. You sometimes get to work and realize that

you left something at one of the kid’s houses, but you aren’t going to be back there for days so to

prevent this, you feel constant pressure to be super organized. Your kids have different priorities, so

every week you are not just changing houses but you are also changing lifestyles. You carry a lot of

frustration because of this constant bouncing back and forth so it’s hard to feel secure. When your kids

do communicate with each other, it usually ends up in a fight or you listening while they say mean things

about each other. They know that is very painful for you because you love them both so much. You

wonder if their anger at each other is bigger than their love for you. It is especially hard when they say

things to you like, “Don’t you want me to be happy?” which makes you are scream inside your head,

“What about my happiness? Don’t you want ME to be happy?” Every day your heart aches because

when you look around, everyone seems to have kids that love each other and you don’t. You tell God

that you would literally give anything to get your kids to reconcile but no matter how much you pray, it

doesn’t happen.

You just imagined what it is like for a child of divorce.

Broken heart