By Tonya Cherry
Oh how I wish I didn’t know
I wish I hadn’t read my child’s text messages and tweets.
It saddens me that this is the language they use and ideas they share.
I wish a had not looked into their bloodshot eyes.
It hurts me to know that even good kids struggle to say no.
I wish I had not seen them looking at inappropriate pictures online.
It breaks my heart that no matter how many boundaries I have, the world seeps in.
I wish I had not found out that they did not value themselves and their purity.
It grieves me to know that they do not understand their worth.
I wish I had not watched as they neglected the lessons I taught and the encouragement I gave.
It distresses me to know that the life they are pursuing is not what I wanted for them.
I wish I had not discovered that they were turning away from their Savior.
It pains me to know that they are giving up on truth and surrendering to temptation.
We parents have worked hard to save our children from harm, so when they make poor choices, we experience disappointment. Our hearts ache because we love them and taught them right from wrong, and yet they disregard us. It is so very hard when they don’t obey us, and sometimes even harder to see them suffer the consequences. We just want to put our heads in the sand and say, “ Wake me when it’s over.” We develop a whole new understanding of the saying, Ignorance is Bliss. We may actually find that we liked not knowing. Our lives were easier before we realized that we can’t control our children’s choices.
God is our protective Heavenly Father and we are children who struggle with obedience and when we don’t follow His wisdom for our lives, it hurts Him. Like us, seeing his beloved children struggle with painful consequences can also be difficult because He wants our lives to be filled with goodness not shame or conflict. Our sins affect our Father, much like our children’s sins affect us, only His sorrow must be so much greater because our sins seem infinite and He is never shielded from the knowledge of it.
My children are going to make decisions that upset me. As I parent them, it helps me to remain humble remembering that I am much more like them as the sinful child, than I am like God as the loving parent.